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Finding My Why

I have been making this business happen for quite some time now. It's been a slow but steady process. I think this way has allowed me to trust myself every step of the way. But the past two weekends, I have been hurdling, nose-deep, ready to make this a reality for me. It's really about carving out time and just doing the work. I have had to push past the wall and make the process of doing the work my new comfort zone. It's been fun.

I want to take a step back today and talk about how I got here and how I found my why.

My name is Amarilys. I'm 29 years old, Puerto Rican, and the youngest in my family. I came from a small town in Connecticut that my grandmother moved to when my mother was young. I grew up with my mom, grandmother, and older brother in a home where I never had my own space. Growing up in a Hispanic household meant the women of the house cooked every night, cleaned every Sunday with music blasting, and family was the center of our world. Even though the only "man" of the family living in our home was my brother, the gender Hispanic norms were still there. My grandmother and mother didn't really have friends. I never saw them have hobbies or things to do outside of the family. I've seen my family go through just about everything. There are a lot of things that shape who you are. But this is a quick snapshot. I am thankful for my family, and I was fortunate enough to grow up in a loving home with food on the table and a roof over my head. The fantastic memories of my family are soon to come.

I was also fortunate enough to be the first to go to college in my immediate family. It is something that I look back at now, knowing how much my grandmother and mom sacrificed for it. But moving from a small town and a tight-knit family to a college for 4 years was a culture shock. I loved the idea of moving to college away from my family and forming my own identity, but I didn't know how to do that. At the time, I was also in a long-term relationship. I had never been away from him like this. I had no idea how to burst out of the small town bubble. I was a double major in Elementary Education and Musical Theatre. I realized people had more experience in musical theatre background than I did. Sitting in my first day of vocal for musicals course, I felt so small. Who was I? This Latina in a predominately white college didn't have 15+ years of dance and vocal lessons experience. Looking back, I think it was then that I started losing myself. I had all these new experiences, and I didn't know how to handle them all. It was overwhelming. But the Virgo in me could not make me realize that I needed the help.

After college, I took the giant leap to move to NYC, (See cover photo of me. First day moving my things into my apartment) I and if you're not outgoing enough to find your community, NY can be a lonely place. I had my close friends, but I had also left college very unsure of what I wanted to do with my life. And in the year before I moved, I had a messy breakup with my ex of 8 years, and my grandmother had passed away. Safe to say, it was not the best time for me to just change into something else that was entirely new for me. But one thing about me is somehow, I just make things work. I would not change moving to NY for anything. I would change how I lived the next couple of years of my life.

I spent it in a highly stressful job and didn't pay me nearly enough. I put thousands into my credit card and got myself into massive debt that I am still trying to fix. I drank too much and ate unhealthily. I had spurts of trying to "get my life together," but I lived in a state of depression most days. Finally, and probably the worst of all for me, I kept pushing off, trying to figure out the bigger picture for me.

Fast forward 4 years, and I met an incredible man. He was everything I wanted for my life. A loving partner who could hold his own, had goals he was setting and meeting, had a community of friends, hobbies, loved to travel, and so much more. I realized it was almost overwhelming for me. Just because he is everything I want to be, doesn't mean that he can magically give me all these same things. I was also met with all the triggers and trauma that I had not dealt with. As you know, we have since broken up. But it was honestly the thing I needed to hold myself accountable for all the things I have not made possible for my life.

Now we are here with In love With Me Lifestyle, new confidence and trust in myself I haven't felt before, a vision for my future, tackling those traumas with therapy, investing time with my loved ones, finding joy when I can, healing, growing, learning.

Now, this brings me to my why. What do I want In Love With Me Lifestyle to be?

In Love With Me, Lifestyle is a safe space for (Latina) womxn to show up as they are and who they are. A community to help each other grow. To uplift, inspire, and empower one another. A place where women can network with each other, meet and help each other with business ideas, build financial literacy, and so much more. When we have a community in which we can feel safe, we can build the confidence to be the best version of ourselves. You are worth being the best version of yourself that you can be. I am thrilled to provide something that I always wish I had for myself. I thank you always for being here.

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