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How I Stopped Identifying with Trauma

Hard reality check? When was the last time you checked yourself?

Going through therapy, you realize that everything you do stems from one or more places. That trauma had a reaction on you. Your mind, how you move about life, how you interact with others, how you show up for yourself. Then that turned into a pattern.

One day we realize that something needs to change. So you do several things to improve your life and stop the pattern. But sometimes, it's not that easy to just cut the habit out.

After a good therapy session, I feared I might not need therapy anymore because I have nothing that needs "fixing" in my life. This made me realize that I need to consciously choose to identify with other parts of myself. Trauma and needing fixing is not my identity. It used to be my comfort zone. I didn't need to build a better life for myself and take the risk because I was over here in my comfortable spot of waiting for someone to save me. Crying, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, depression, anxiously reaching out to others to solve my problems was my comfort zone. Now that I have other things like a business, hobbies I enjoy, authentic connections with friends in my life, these are the things that make up my identity. I am not just one feeling. My identity is a variety of emotions, experiences, hobbies, and interests that are important to me. I am not my trauma.

I have come to this place by:

  • Seeing a therapist that understands me weekly

  • Trying everything and letting go of the things that don't bring me joy.

  • Slowly being comfortable with just taking a chance. (Like starting a business)

  • Putting myself out there. Not to get validation from others, but to validate me. I deserve to take up space

  • Taking up space!! Life is too short to diminish yourself (You will get more comfortable with it as you continue to do it!)

  • Knowing I was BORN deserving of everything I want. I do not need to prove it to anyone, but myself

  • Understanding the balance between giving myself grace when I need it and pushing myself harder when I need to

  • Listening! Build connections with others by asking about their life. Genuinely listen to them. Everyone just wants to be heard

  • Keeping myself accountable! That builds trust with others and with yourself

  • About the above, I say no automatically when I genuinely don't want to do something. This has left space to keep me accountable for the things that I actually want to do

  • Journaling, crying if I need to. If I feel upset, I give myself 2 hours, and then it's time to change my mindset. Negative minds do not grow

  • Keeping my peace. If someone has a problem with you, but they're not making it clear with words. Then keep your peace. They should be able to manage their emotions well enough to come to you

  • Manifestations! Affirmations! Positive energy! After you hit a certain level of working on yourself, you owe it to yourself to keep moving forward. Plants need water and sunlight to grow. Water yourself with knowledge and brighten your growth with positive energy

I am so proud of you! We are all out here just doing our best! You owe it to yourself to give yourself the best life you deserve! And you can do it. There are so many tools out there to assist you. Find what works for you. I'm always here if you want to reach out! Email me! DM me on Instagram. Let's uplift, inspire, and empower each other <3

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