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Why I don' t like the word practical

Practical. If I think about it, I can figure out where this came from, but all I know is that I have been sticking to it my whole life.

I chose the practical job (teaching) vs. what I wanted to do (musical theatre). I wanted a practical apartment enough to fit what I needed. I wanted a practical car with four doors to comfortably fit my family and friends and an ample truck space, and suitable for the snow. I wanted a practical relationship; married, kids, and once-a-year vacations. When I moved to NY, I realized I could think differently. I didn't have to hold onto some things I wanted just because I wanted them for so long. And until most recently, I realized I wanted out of practical.

Practical is what has kept me small. From dreaming big. From taking the jump. From doing what I want to do. From feeling like I deserve these big things that I want. It's kept me fearful and tiny, lost me out on fun things, people, and a bigger salary.

This is why this work is essential. Healing. Taking care of yourself. Pouring into yourself. Experiencing it all. Making meaningful connections. Finding your purpose.

I have found my purpose here. I want people to feel lighter, happier, and joyous because they met me. Because they are in this community and space.

I can't say that I'm fully healed. I still need to get out of my way. I find myself correcting intrusive thoughts. I still need to push myself to do what I want. But I am here and working on it every day. It takes time to clear/correct these pathways that have been overcrowded with weeds. But it will happen. I promise you.

You are worth it.

Te quiero, Amarilys

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